So, I'm continuing on the 'Let's Get Organised' spree and it feels quite good. The only thing is, on the days where I haven't managed to 'get my stuff together' it feels worse than ever. You suddenly realise how inconvenient it is to be disorganised when you have spates of getting good at organisation. So for example, this morning I was much less able to deal with the fact that I was later in the shower than usual, running late for playgroup and the kitchen was a mess (all before I'd had my cup of tea) than I used to be. Because these days, I have started this little habit of laying out the breakfast things the night before (oh, yes), placing a little teabag in my mug - complete with teaspoon - before I go up for bedtime routine - and then laying out clothes for the next day. The latter is something that loads of Youtubers talk about when it comes to getting organised. This morning it was either the bad sleep last night or the seeming chaos this morning that catapulted me into a rage and a feeling of Everything Closing in on Me and, as the Americans call it, Overwhelm. Wow. This is what being organised does to me.
Another sad fact is, though, that I have to cut down my sugar. And this time it's not in a nebulous, one-day-I-will-cut-it-out-or-reduce-it way, but more pressing. I got a letter in the post last week to say I'm at increased risk of Type II diabetes because my blood sugar is 42 (the range for prediabetic is 42-47). The thought of becoming diabetic and never being able to have sugar again (as well as a host of other horrible symptoms) fills me with horror. It's enough incentive to finally cut back on it. However, sugar is one of those things I use to self-medicate when I'm having a bad day or am tired. Now that is a lot of days. So now I have to get creative and think about some other 'treats' that I can realistically dispense for myself, which I can a) afford b) have time for and c) don't rely on other, busy, people.
I was listening to a podcast the other day (from a series called Happier, with Gretchen Rubin) and she recommends keeping a running list of 'favourite things'. What a lovely idea. So I might do that. Unfortunately I have already capitulated and given into the 'treat' of a chocolate digestive biscuit this afternoon, as my reward for going for a blood test with two small children and walking home with Isaac screaming all the way. I suppose I could use this time to write that list, in the face of such fresh failure.
I also have a 'threenager'. I'd always thought that the terrible twos were the worst, but people did warn me about this age, where your toddler gets a bit more sophisticated in reasoning and better at arguing . Wow, is it true. Yesterday I found myself in a verbal spar with Grace where she was arguing with me about something or other. I said; 'Stop arguing with me Grace. It's very annoying when you argue.' To which she replied 'No it's not annoying.' Thereby displaying exactly the case in point. I suppose I was asking for it.
These days everything is met with an argument. I say we're going out to play group and apparently 'no, we're not.' I say I'm walking out of the room because I'm so annoyed and will come back in a few minutes and she says 'no, you're not.' It feels like a continual battle.
No, it doesn't feel like a continual battle; it is a continual battle.
Where's that sugar-free chocolate???