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Updated: May 10, 2020

12th August, 2018

I don't know what it is about today, but I've just felt hungry - for stodge - all day. I've eaten a bit, felt all stodged up, regretted it, and then wanted some more. I had my (planned and scheduled in with Michael) break this morning, 7 till 10. Though, like most planned things, it did not go according to plan. It wasn't until about half 7 that I went upstairs for my break, and then by about 8 Isaac was being so loud that, for fear of him waking the neighbours, I went and collected him and swept him upstairs, where he (rather promptly) fell asleep. I was so tired that I couldn't even really enjoy either Little Women or my usual Jen Fulwiler podcast. I just lay there... trying to sleep but unable to.

Around 9 (ish), the delightful thought came into my mind: Strawberry Cheesecake ice cream, Haagen Daaz, in the freezer. Well, that had me downstairs more quickly than I had moved so far. There was just a little left, but it hit the spot.

Then, after lunch, it was the bread and butter pudding and custard I wanted. Why? It wasn't actually very nice and it left me feeling pretty terrible. I decided I wasn't going to have anything else like that. But then, enter the Children's Party at 'Head over Heels'. A little while into it, the adults' platter was brought out: pizza, goujons, tortilla wraps with melted cheese and vegetables, cake... So guess what?

But I've been listening to a few podcasts lately (the last two days) on treating the body better, remembering that it is, indeed, a temple of the Holy Spirit (not being sarcastic!). Maybe it was this that prompted me to want the bad food. In a typically rebellious fashion, I'd heard this, thought I'd better implement some sizeable changes when it comes to food, and then done a mental U-turn before I could even start the process.

Or is it just the exhaustion that comes with looking after two little ones, which leaves you forever craving sweet and fatty foods, as your body's desperate attempt to create some kind of long-lost energy? Hard to know.

So, what to do? Well, there was one tip on the podcast today about introducing changes and it was (I think) to make them small and gradual. So, for example, to pick a time to start walking and do it. Then build up - and don't beat yourself up about it if you don't manage it on one day. Okay. So I already do that. But my plan is going to be to 'up' the cardio, get that double buggy, and walk a bit faster and a bit further every day. And then my other thing (wait, am I adding too quickly?) would be to start having some banana and yoghurt smoothies. I'm not sure why, but it just feels like a really healthy thing to do. I get the feeling I'd feel like WonderWoman if I achieved it.

P.s I will not be adding kale.

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