Updated: Dec 22, 2019
Well, my blog has seemed to fall by the wayside but I'm back. I'd like to say I'm back by popular request but that's not strictly true. I just know that I used to enjoy writing and I wonder if I'll enjoy it again if I simply start. Sometimes it's about the Simply Starting.
Seem to have hit something of a Motivation Rut recently. All my ongoing projects (things like organising/decluttering/writing) have crashed and burned. And I'm hoping to find, perhaps in the midst of writing, a renewed desire to start again. After all, it is Lent. Though we are already four weeks in and it seems to have passed me by (tempting to add that as another 'Failure' to the list).
Not sure what I'm going to write about in this post so do bear with me. Some of you said it was good to read what I say because it's assuring to feel like we're all in the same boat, so here goes...
I have got one thing to write about actually. I felt as though my universe shattered this week when I got a phone call on Thursday morning to ask me to collect Grace from pre-school and whizz her to the chemist to have her eyes checked for conjunctivitis. It wasn't any concern about conjunctivitis that shattered my universe... it was the loss of free time. What? Suddenly I had my (lovely) daughter at home with me both Thursday - full day - and Friday morning and I had banked on that 'free time'. And to add to that, I got a text from pre-school to say 'see you after the Easter break.' Easter break? What ? I hadn't factored that in to my short-term future plans. I had had great plans to continue making inroads on the house project. Now I had just lost 15-hours of potential time to crack on with jobs whilst only looking after one pre-verbal child. The irony is that, about 3 minutes before my phone buzzed with this catastrophic news, I actually said aloud 'ahh, this is just what I needed', as I stood in the kitchen, feeling the sense of potential productivity at large.
What struck me is how little it took to shatter my small universe. Surely I could overcome this? But sitting here on Sunday, still feeling irritable and at the end of my nerves, I realise that my resources for overcoming such setbacks are smaller than I'd thought. That, and the fact that I only have Earl Grey tea left in my house, have driven me to the edge.
So here I am. Wondering how to carve out space for myself over the next two weeks of the Easter holiday. Thank goodness for my David Lloyd membership is all I can say, as I type this in the 'Adult Lounge' of said venue while Michael takes the Tinies for a few hours and gives me a breather. Phew.
Will try and write something more interesting next time...
Isaac's words so far:
cake, chocchoc, bicbic, juice, ham, cheese, cup
Anyone see a running theme?
Grace's recent phrases:
'Mummy, I just need a little bit of time on my own. So just close the door. You can close it just a little bit.' (after a short conversation where I had explained the need for my own solitude to Gracie...)